What to Do When Decluttering is Hard

Decluttering is not as easy as we make it look on Instagram. I had the opportunity to chat with Lee Ann Wade, our Bay Area region manager, about how we can tackle even the most cluttered areas of our home and not get overwhelmed.⁠ What space in your home is overwhelming you at the moment?⁠ You can watch our Instagram Live or read more below!

There is Hope to Live Clutter-Free

⁠Jen Martin

Today we are talking about decluttering. Decluttering is not always as easy as it looks. We show these amazing transformations on Instagram and it really is phenomenal and I think a lot of people think they can do it too but it can quickly become overwhelming. Lee Ann Wade and I are going to share tips and tricks for you to do in your home. Lee Ann is our regional manager for the Bay Area, California. She is already doing tons of projects and has an amazing team there and every client from Lee Ann gives us a phone call, letter, or email talking about how she has changed their lives. It's so fun having her in the Bay Area and seeing such an impact already in the lives of our clients there. You are an expert, Lee Ann, and I'm so excited to have you join us so our followers can get to know you and really help us with this problem, which is decluttering. Is there anything that you want to add to your intro so our audience can get to know you better? 

Lee Ann Wade

I absolutely love this topic and I tell clients this, I am so vulnerable to them and they don't believe it, but I was a slob growing up. I shared a bedroom with my sister for a number of years, I had six siblings, and my room was just piled with clothes. My mom could not wait until I was sick and immobilized in bed so she could come through and clean it all up. She is one of the most organized people I know and I think that as a child that was so formative for me. I loved that feeling, I just didn't know how to do it myself. I always tell people, there is hope for your children yet!

Jen

Because you are the model for that!

Lee Ann

Because I am the model of organization now, but I wasn't always. 

Jen

That's amazing, I actually didn't know that about you. I would love to know, I know as a child it was hard, but why do you think decluttering is hard? And what have you learned from your clients, now being a professional organizer, about this process of decluttering?

The Process of Decluttering

Lee Ann

I think this topic is one of my favorite topics because it is so important to acknowledge that it is hard. Like you just said in your intro, we show up with a team of organizing professionals and we make it look so easy on Instagram showing the before and after. But it's not our stuff, we're not emotionally attached to it. I actually walk into a space and see what it's going to look like and all the clients see, they might be filled with childhood memories and things that they've moved from house to house to house. And if they're married, their spouse may not always agree. I just had a consult call the other day and somebody was saying that the husband wanted this space organized and the wife said another space was a priority. They weren't even able to initially agree on what spaces to organize. That makes it really hard. You're almost coming into it thinking that you can't do this and yet you can. And I always tell people to give each other a lot of grace and a lot of space. You might think that because it's a Saturday you're going to go tackle the garage from 9am to 12pm and you've got a babysitter lined up. That sounds great, right?

Jen

If only it was that easy. I love what you said that each person values things differently. Even in relationships, it's interesting to see how things are valued differently. I still think it's so silly that my husband has boxes and boxes of baseball cards from the 80's that he's never even opened. But he thinks that some of the things that I hold onto are silly like kid toys that I want to save for grandkids someday. We miss each other sometimes on what we think is valuable and worth keeping around. Being able to hear each other and finding what really fits in your home and your relationship can be challenging. I totally agree with you.

Lee Ann

Absolutely!

Transformations & Dopamine

Jen

I would love to talk about the dopamine that we experience when you see what it's actually like to transform a space and how that fuels and facilitates more change. How can we help our listeners who are thinking about getting started on this decluttering journey experience that impact?

Lee Ann

It is a real thing, and this is why those before and after videos on Instagram are so popular because people are watching this transformative process. Your brain doesn't know the difference between watching it and doing it. You might have just got done watching it and you feel so good after, then look around at your space and wonder why it's still messy. Your brain was thinking that it was really fun and you want more of that. And that's what happens when we come into a home. When someone hires a professional organizer and we come in to just do your kitchen, they feel this immediate dopamine sensation of "that was amazing, I can't afford the entire home, but I'm going to keep going." It gives your brain that boost to keep going in a very positive direction. You can do this on your own. Jen, you would probably tell clients to start with a small project that can be started and finished in a specified period of time. 

How & Where to Start Decluttering

Jen

Yes. I think most people can relate to this. I even can. Where you look at a space and it's driving you crazy, bigger spaces like a storage room, garage, and even pantries. You just know that it has to change, today is the day. You pull everything out and at the end of the day it's still all out and you don't know where to begin. Or maybe you feel like  you've made a lot of progress or maybe you put a lot of things in the donation pile but the mess is still there because those types of projects really are too much for only one person in one day. It's just an overwhelming amount of work. Plus when you're thinking about putting product in that fits right or adding labels, which is such an integral step. It has to be labeled, otherwise it's not going to stay that way. There's no way to do that all in one day with one person. Having a plan and starting small is the biggest key if you're going to tackle any space on your own. And also showing up with a list of questions and mentally preparing. How am I going to decide what things to keep and what things to let go of? How am I going to attach value? Is my home being used as a storage space? Or is my home being used as a space that I live in, that I love in, that I'm enjoying, that I'm relaxing in, that I'm feeling refreshed in each day? If the items that you're choosing to keep are not adding to the purpose that you want your home to fulfill, and I know this is hard, but facing the reality that the two really can't coincide in most homes unless you live in a 20,000sqft house. But then again, who wants to be surrounded by things that they don't love and that aren't adding value to their lives?

Lee Ann

Even then, I always say you either need less stuff or you need a bigger space. But even then, every time you look at something that maybe your mother-in-law gave you that you don't really love, it's just no important. Holding onto it doesn't make it any more valuable. All you're doing is moving it from home to home or space to space. Anything that you bring into your home you have to care for. I think that list of questions, we have that pretty straightforward for a closet. Does it fit? Have you worn it? Is it in style? You have this list of questions for you closet, which is straightforward, but when it comes to memorabilia and little tchotchkes in your home, it doesn't quite fit in that perfect little package. But you're right, you have to get very honest with yourself. It's almost like when you go shopping, I always say it's like breaking the seal. Once you've broken the seal and you've bought one thing at a shopping mall, sky's the limit! It's the same thing when you decide to give something away, it becomes easier. I've seen clients disappear while we're organizing and then they come back, checking out what we're doing. We break it down into bite-sized pieces for them, and that's the beauty of what we do for clients. It's really an approachable way to organize because we have categorized everything for them. So now they're looking at everything in categories. And I've seen it, all of a sudden it just starts to click. It's really fun to see them feel that lightness and really understand how those things serve them. 

Jen

There's something to be said for that process of emptying and categorizing first so you can see, for example, that you have ten white button-up shirts and half of them have pit stains. But when they were all combined in my closet I didn't see that. Same thing with cords that have the exact same attachments and you think you need that because I have this item. But when you have twenty of the exact same cord you finally realize that you don't need all twenty of them. I agree that that makes a huge impact. I would love to ask you, why do you think clutter accumulates in the first place? What can we do once we're going through this process, whether with an organizer as Reset Your Nest is helping you or you're tackling those smaller spaces? What can you do to prevent it from happening again? Because it's typically a natural cycle, especially this day and age with Amazon and 2-day shipping.

Preventing Clutter

Lee Ann

I know, and Target. It's true, and we all experience that. I think the main message is that things don't make you happy. Instagram is full of messages, I see it all the time, these little things on Amazon that are a "game-changer product" that's going to make you happier, healthier, loose weight, you're going to look better, you're going to feel better. Sorry, but other than a few amazing organizing products which can transform your life. there's literally nothing out there that's going to fix what's in here and up here [your heart and mind]. You just have to look inwards. If you see something and you love it, then buy it. But know that it has to (A) have a place in your home, you have to have a spot for it, (B) if you have a cramped closet then something has to come out before that comes in, and (C) know that you have to care for it throughout its entire life cycle so make sure it's something that you really love and it's worth investing in. I always say, you can have everything you want. You can have that designer purse, as long as you don't buy 50 other things. Buy things you can afford, live within your means, and don't believe the hype. Don't believe the media, things do not make you happy. When my mom passed away, I was able to give away quite a few things of hers because I realized that she doesn't live in those pieces. She lives in my heart, she lives in my memories. Nothing lives in inanimate objects, nothing. It gets pretty deep right there but these are the things that I tell myself to prevent the clutter. 

Jen

I love that. There are so many good take-aways in there. I love that you talked about intentional spending. I love that you talked about not attaching people and memories of people to items. I think sometimes one or two special things that you have in your home can be meaningful. I have bookends that my grandfather used to have in his home and they're really cute and they remind me of him. So I have one meaningful thing that's in my home that's being used. I don't have an entire garage full of his life-long possessions. I love that you talked about the one-in one-out rule and making sure that you have space for it initially, especially in terms of closets. If you're going to buy a piece, think whether or not it's replacing something else. Is there something that I'm wearing less? There are only so many days in a week and weeks in a year for you to wear all of those fun outfits. There were so many good takeaways in there, I love all of them. I just wanted to repeat them because I don't want them to get forgotten and lost. Thank you for all of those. 

Lee Ann

And I think you can look at your stuff and I always tell people, especially when we're turning the junk drawer into a utility drawer (because there is no junk drawer), I always tell people not to edit it [before we come to organize it] because your stuff tells a story. If I see something in there and a lot of stuff in the same category, like the little kids stuff, all those little tchotchke items that the kids get and my favorite way to contain those is to buy a beautiful container like a glass one from CB2 and start putting in those items and through the years you're going to start to see almost like an archeological history of your child's life. The stuff you have doesn't define you but it says something about what you hold near and dear. You just need to have that sense of calm. Maybe you just have too much of that stuff. Maybe you have a lot of duplicates. Maybe you just need to buy less of those things. But it's very informative. We love to bring calm to a space. Everything doesn't have to be picture perfect to be organized. We don't want to create this level that everything has to be perfect for you to be happy. But if you want to have that sense of calm then you really have to get real about editing stuff. 

How Professional Organizers Help

Jen

You showed such a beautiful side to how you interact with our clients in the Bay Area because you embody Reset Your Nest and what I think sets Reset Your Nest apart and makes Reset Your Nest unique is that we do not come in with an agenda. Yes, we come in as expert organizers so we know how to make things function, we know how to create systems, we know thousands of products that are available to fit every type of space and every type of situation and every type of style. We love to make it look beautiful, we know how to make really great labels, we know how to do all of the things. But at the end of the day, we are not trying to force a certain type of lifestyle on anyone. We come in listening to our clients and listening to what's important to them and bringing the two together so it's a system that they can maintain, a system that will help bring them joy. If there are some things that are meaningful to them, we use them as part of the organization or as part of the décor, whatever it is we integrate it. You do such a good job of that and I think that's why your clients are so happy is because Reset Your Nest values that client experience, that curation, that personal level. And we value it instead of saying that the only way to get organized is to throw all of your stuff away and you now have to live this minimalist lifestyle. It's not that at all. It's let's make your life better, let's create some freedom and not be weighed down by the clutter and create a home that you can live your best life in and not spend all your time cleaning up messes. Let's do it with the things that you have and the things you want to keep. And if you want to keep a lot then we'll make it work. If you're getting really real about what you actually use then that's great. I just love that about you and I think that's the perfect way to end. You just embody Reset Your Nest and what we do on a daily for our clients and I'm just so grateful to have you as part of the team. Thank you. 

Lee Ann

Well, we love what we do. We feel so grateful to be invited into peoples' homes to do what we do. 

Jen

And it shows with what you bring to the table. Thank you so much for sharing your expertise and I'm excited to do this again so that everyone can get to know you, you're just amazing. Lee Ann also shares a lot of her personal organization and client projects on Instagram @organizedprettyspaces, you'll see that we often re-share her stuff and tag her. She is our lead in the Bay Area so if you're in the Bay Area and you book a free consultation call, it's Lee Ann who will be designing and planning your space and bringing her team into your home. 

Jen is the founder of Reset Your Nest, a Professional Home Organizing business in Utah (Salt Lake City, Park City, Ogden, Logan, Utah County, and St. George), California (Bay Area, Los Gatos, Hillsborough, Atherton, San Jose), Denver, CO, and Phoenix, AZ. She loves creating order and systems out of chaos. Her specialty is finding a way to continue the aesthetic of any home to every cupboard and drawer. She shares her tips and tricks on Instagram @reset_your_nest.