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Writer's pictureJen Martin

What to Do When Decluttering is Hard

Decluttering is not as easy as we make it look on Instagram. I had the opportunity to chat with Lee Ann Wade from Organized Pretty Spaces in the Bay Area, California, about how we can tackle even the most cluttered areas of our home and not get overwhelmed.⁠


What to Do When Decluttering Is Hard Reset Your Nest Utah Organizer

There is Hope to Living Clutter-Free

We show these amazing transformations on Instagram but they take a team to complete one project in one day and you don't always see the team behind the organized space. People think they can do it all on their own in one day and quickly discover how overwhelming it can be.


But there is still hope! "I was a slob growing up," Lee Ann admitted to me, "I shared a bedroom with my sister for a number of years, I had six siblings, and my room was just piled with clothes. My mom could not wait until I was sick and immobilized in bed so she could come through and clean it all up. She is one of the most organized people I know and I think that as a child that was so formative for me. I loved that feeling, I just didn't know how to do it myself."


Why is decluttering so hard, especially for kids? What's the best process for helping yourself and others to declutter? Here are some tips from Lee Ann and I for you try out: 


What to Do When Decluttering is Hard:


Each person values things differently, even in relationships. I still think it's silly that my husband has boxes and boxes of baseball cards from the 80's that he's never opened. But he thinks that holding onto kid toys for grandkids someday is silly too. We don't see eye to eye on what's valuable and worth keeping around.


"It is so important to acknowledge that it IS hard," Lee Ann says. "We show up with a team of organizing professionals and we make it look so easy on Instagram showing the before and after. But it's not our stuff, we're not emotionally attached to it. I actually walk into a space and see what it's going to look like" when all the clients see are "childhood memories and things that they've moved from house to house to house."


Having different perspectives makes it difficult to even agree on where to begin. Being able to communicate, listen to each other, and be patient will make it so much easier. You'll be able to find what fits in your home together. Lee Ann encourages her clients "to give each other a lot of grace and a lot of space."



2. Start with a small project.

When we organize our space, we experience a rush of dopamine! And that can fuel us to organize even more of our homes and facilitate more change. That's why we recommend starting with a small project so you can start and finish something manageable within a short amount of time.


If you want to organize a larger space in your home, break it down into bite-sized pieces just as Lee Ann and I do for our clients. You can also use a timer to help manage your time so you don't become overwhelmed.


That may also be why we love before and after transformations on social media so much. "Your brain doesn't know the difference between watching it and doing it," Lee Ann says, "You might have just got done watching it and you feel so good after, then look around at your space and wonder why it's still messy."


You can use this rush of dopamine to your advantage. Whether you're watching a video or hire a professional organizer to organize one space in your home, "they feel this immediate dopamine sensation," Lee Ann says. "'That was amazing, I can't afford the entire home, but I'm going to keep going.' It gives your brain that boost to keep going in a very positive direction."


"I've seen clients disappear while we're organizing" Lee Ann says, "and then they come back, checking out what we're doing. We break it down into bite-sized pieces for them, and that's the beauty of what we do for clients. It's really an approachable way to organize because we have categorized everything for them. So now they're looking at everything in categories. And I've seen it, all of a sudden it just starts to click. It's really fun to see them feel that lightness and really understand how those things serve them."



3. Make a plan.

Everyone knows what it feels like when one space in your home is driving you crazy, like storage rooms, garages, and even pantries. You know it has to change and you finally have a day to pull everything out and organize it. But at the end of the day, nothing's been put away and you don't know where to begin. It's just an overwhelming amount of work.


Once you've decided on a small space, or broken up a larger space into smaller projects, make a plan. Think through, plan, measure, mentally prepare. Here are a list of questions that can help:

What products will I need to buy? Where will they go?

What zones do I need? Where is the best place for each?

What kind of labeling system will I use? Do I have sticky notes to use first?

How am I going to decide what things to keep and what things to let go of?

How am I going to attach value?

Is my home being used as:

a storage space?

a space that I live in?

a space that I love in?

a space that I'm enjoying?

a space that I'm relaxing in?

a space that I'm feeling refreshed in each day?


There's something to be said for the process of emptying and categorizing first so you can see that you have ten white button-up shirts and half of them have pit stains or that you have twenty of the exact same cord. It makes a huge impact. "If the items that you're choosing to keep are not adding to the purpose that you want your home to fulfill," Lee Ann says, "who wants to be surrounded by things that they don't love and that aren't adding value to their lives?"


4. Be honest with yourself.

Sometimes even having a list of questions prepared beforehand won't always work for the sentimental items in your home. Lee Ann tells her clients: "you either need less stuff or you need a bigger space." You (and each of your family members) need to be honest with themselves about what really matters to them. Lee Ann says that if you have things in your home that no one in the family loves, "holding onto it doesn't make it any more valuable."


When Lee Ann's mother died, she held onto a lot of her old possessions. After she accepted that her mother wasn't attached to any of those objects, it was easier for her to let them go. Holding onto a few sentimental items can be meaningful. I have bookends that my grandfather used to have in his home and they remind me of him but I don't have an entire garage full of his life-long possessions.


When you begin decluttering, remember that more stuff won't bring you more happiness. When you buy one thing, it's easier to keep buying more stuff, but the same goes for decluttering! When you donate or get rid of one thing, it starts to get easier to get rid of more stuff because you begin to feel the weight of clutter lifting.


Be real with yourself about what you need versus what you want. Instagram is full of "life-changing" product recommendations "but other than a few amazing organizing products which can transform your life, there's literally nothing out there that's going to fix what's in your heart and mind," Lee Ann says, "You just have to look inwards."


"Everything doesn't have to be picture perfect to be organized. We don't want to create this level that everything has to be perfect for you to be happy. But if you want to have that sense of calm then you really have to get real about editing stuff."


5. Intentional spending.

Why does clutter accumulate in the first place? What can we do to prevent it from happening again? Accumulating stuff is a natural cycle (especially with Amazon and 2-day shipping) but being very intentional with our spending can help prevent clutter from reaccumulating.


To prevent more clutter from accumulating in your home after you've decluttered, remind yourself that you will have to care for everything you bring into your home. Lee Ann encourages her clients: "If you see something and you love it, then buy it. But know that it has to (A) have a place in your home, you have to have a spot for it, (B) if you have a cramped closet then something has to come out before that comes in, and (C) know that you have to care for it throughout its entire life cycle so make sure it's something that you really love and it's worth investing in."


You can also implement the one-in-one out rule, where you choose to donate or get rid of one thing for every one new thing you bring into your home. Be very intentional with what you're choosing to bring into your home. Lee Ann advises, "Buy things you can afford, live within your means, and don't believe the hype."


How Professional Organizers Help

We know how to make things functional and beautiful, we know how to create systems, we know thousands of products that are available to fit every type of space and every type of situation and every type of style, we know how to make really great labels, we listen to our clients, we prioritize what's important to them, and bringing all of that together to create a custom system that they (and their family) can maintain.


Lee Ann tells her clients "not to edit it [before we come to organize it] because your stuff tells a story." If there are things that are meaningful to them, we use them as part of the organization or décor. Instead of saying the only way to get organized is to throw all of your stuff away and live a minimalist lifestyle, we say that organization can make your life better no matter how you live.


Let's create a home that you can live your best life in and not spend all your time cleaning up messes. Let's do it with the things that you have and the things you want to keep. And if you want to keep a lot then we'll make it work. Lee Ann reminds us that "The stuff you have doesn't define you but it says something about what you hold near and dear. "


What To Do When Decluttering Is Hard Professional Expert Opinions on The Process How & Where to Start And Preventing Future Clutter

You can follow Lee Ann Wade on Instagram and Facebook. If you're in the Bay Area and looking to declutter and get organized, consider reaching out to Organized Pretty Spaces


XO Jen Martin








Jen is the founder of Reset Your Nest, a Professional Home Organizing Business in Utah (servicing Salt Lake City, Park City, Ogden, Alpine, Highland, Mapleton, and St. George). She loves creating order and systems out of chaos and is known for bringing a beautiful aesthetic as well as easy to maintain function to any space. She shares her tips and tricks on Instagram @reset_your_nest.


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